20-something American girl, loudly and excitedly, pointing at statue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There's a statue of Jesus! They've got a statue of Jesus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unimpressed 20-something Greek girl: That's a statue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fucking retard.

National Archaeological Museum

Overheard by: Bleep

American tourist #1, approaching Piazza de Michelangelo: Oooh, is that the David? Like, the real David?
American tourist #2: No, that’s not the real one. The real one doesn’t have arms.


Overheard by: Lex

American tourist: It's so quaint here. All the pretty houses. It's so romantic.
German host: Uh-huh.
American tourist: What I don't get, though, is why they built it if they don't even charge money for people visiting it.
German host: I think the people living here would feel weird about that.
American woman: Wait, people actually live here??


Tourist mom: What would Carol think of all this?
Seven-year old son: Her name is Coral, and I told you we broke up!

Loud, fat american teen: I have to take the biggest leak ever. Pause. And then I want to check out those hedgehogs.

Market in Freiburg, Germany

Tour guide: Where is your group going next?
Tourist: The Vatican.
Tour guide: Oh? You are lucky, the Pope is not there.


Overheard by: Burlabo

Tourist at Folklife Festival: You’re just looking for an excuse to take a picture of a black person.

Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.

Washington, DC

Metro cop addressing large crowd waiting for the orange line: Keep moving down the platform. Move down, please!
Tired tourist mom: Move down, honey.
Little girl: Why?
Tired tourist mom: Because we're sheep, that's why.

Smithsonian Station, DC Metro
Washington, DC

Midwestern American: Well, we never did find out if he was a racist or not, but there's not a whole lot left of him to find out now.


Overheard by: doe