Chick to friend: Man, you’ve gotta get laid. I need to live vicariously through someone’s vagina.

Village Inn
Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Tabs

Teary-eyed teen: But I don't wanna work…I wanna go to Istanbul!

Palmer, Alaska

Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn’t realize that you already had one.

Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska

20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We’re pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean ‘like’ her?
20-ish European guy: You know — like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We’re just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y’know, with funny accents?

Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska

Overheard by: I’d say closer to 10

Man to girlfriend: I love you like a raccoon loves shiny things.

Anchorage, Alaska

Disembodied male voice from next door: And I was like, “hey, do you wanna see my circumcision scar?”

Sitka, Alaska

Overheard by: Hailey

Old lady to emo girl: Al Gore is really saving the earth.
Emo girl wearing bag that says “go green”: Wait… Who's Al Gore?

Ketchikan, Alaska

Overheard by: Claire

Professor #1: There are other people here who put stuff up ducks' butts.
Professor #2: Yeah, but you do it for science!

Fairbanks, Alaska

Overheard by: Lowlie Worm

Giddy girl, to guy in a wheelchair: Well, you certainly have sexual harassment down pat.

Art Department
University of Alaska

Literature professor, after reciting Hamlet's “To be or not to be…”: So now you all need a Valium…count on me to ruin your day.

English Lit Class
Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Rosencrantz