Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Muslim girl: Ramadan Mubarak!
Girl: What does that mean?
Muslim girl: It means, like, “Yay, it’s Ramadan!”
Girl: So, like … “Yay, I’m not eating or having sex most of the day!”?
Ottawa
Canadia
Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she’s religious, and she sent me a text today that says, “I get real emotional on Good Friday.” so I write back, ‘I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.’ She hasn’t responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Chick: Man, I hate vacations! I always end up over-packing, and then I never get laid!
Kingston
Jamaica
Cashier: Merry Christmas.
Customer: You, too.
Cashier: Wait! I gotta be politically correct — Happy Holidays.
Customer: Yeah, I’m Jewish.
Cashier: Oh my god, me too!
Customer: Then why the fuck are we wishing each other a Merry Christmas?
Cashier: I have no fucking clue.
Wegmans
Manalapan, New Jersey
Overheard by: I celebrate christmas….
Little tyke, about fireworks: Oooh, look — green! Like St. Patrick’s Day! Remember when I made it St. Patrick’s Day in the toilet?
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/patriotism-and-poop-jokes-its-what.html
Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: not surprised
Girl to guys talking about their Easter candy: You know, I just want to point out that you’re both 23 and still getting Easter candy from your parents.
Guy #1: Hey, it’s not like I asked for it!
Guy #2: And besides, it’s not from my mom. It’s from the bunny.
PETCO Park
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Danette
Coworker, about Dick Clark's New Year's Eve: For people our age it's just not New Year's until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
