Black woman to child: You just mama’s little white boy, aren’t you? Yes you are!
Passing Hispanic woman: Is he really white?

Wal‐Mart Parking Lot
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Walk By Faster

Metro guy to friend: And in the bathroom, under the sink, we have eye clippers…

San Diego, California

Grandmother, about tantrum‐throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we’ll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That’s not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang

Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.

Buford, Georgia

Overheard by: girl with the magical booty

Girl #1: Oh, hey! I’m wearing a purple bra today!
Girl #2: Why is that a surprise? Don’t you dress yourself?

Fitting Rooms
Morwell Shopping Centre

Overheard by: Ann

Boyfriend: If we were in person right now, I would totally suck your face right now.
Girlfriend: We *are* in person.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
(they walk on casually)

Memorial City Mall
Houston, Texas

Woman on cell: Uh, yeah, I’m standing in, uh… Old Navy. See you in a bit!

The Gap, Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: unhappy gapper

Dad to son, passing Valentine’s Day t‑shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It’s for mom, what do I care?

City Center Mall
White Plains, New York

Overheard by: Nathan

Little girl, seriously: This is what I like best about elevators. But it’s not the blood of Christ.

Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Girl #1: Well, today wasn’t a total loss, I did find my outfit for tomorrow.
Girl #2: True. By the way, what’s tomorrow?
Girl #1: Uh, Thursday. You mean like the date?
Girl #2: No, I mean: what’s the occasion for the outfit?
Girl #1: Oh, right! Thursday.

Dulles Town Center
Loudoun County, Virginia