Precocious five-year-old girl: Lipstick! Lipstick! I want lipstick!
Harried mother: Okay, fine, you can pick out one lip gloss. But your father will get really mad if he finds out, because he says…
Precocious five-year-old girl: I know, he says, “we shouldn't waste money, blah blah blah…”
Target Cosmetics Section
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Adopted Chinese daughter: I just wish we looked more alike.
Mother: Aw, you wish you looked more like me?
Adopted Chinese daughter: No, I wish you looked more like me.
Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kellerz
Man in mall: Excuse me, where can I hail a taxi?
Mall employee: This is Vermont, dude.
Man in mall: There has to be taxis. There are roads, aren't they?
Mall employee: Nope, no taxis. But lots of guns.
Rutland, Vermont
Overheard by: MeggerzDotCom
Middle-aged woman to friend, exiting Forever 21: Well, that was a foray into a subculture we're not familiar with.
Kenwood Mall
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Man on cell: So I told the guy, “Your current girlfriend is my wife.”
Mall
Savannah, Georgia
Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.
West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.
Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York
Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.
Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
