Seymour Glass Was Such a Sensitive Child

Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.

The Mall
Victoria
Canadia

Posted on August 10, 2026
Canadia, Default, Fears, Insects, Kids, Malls, Moms, Violence

It'll Give Her a Break from the Monotony of Fucking Me

Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.

Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York

Posted on July 25, 2026
Clothes, Default, Gifts, Guys, Malls, Masturbation, New York, Questions

Enough with the Empire-Waists Already, People

Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.

Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas

Posted on April 30, 2026
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Malls, Pregnancy, Questions, Texas

Humorless Girl Was the Most Depressing Of the X-Men

Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Posted on April 15, 2026
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Malls, Money, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Stupidity, Wishes, Words

No Good Ever Comes of Communication

Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu