Teacher, reading paper by student #1: ‘I’m not living my life yet.’ Then whose life are you living?
Student #1, pointing to student #2: His.
Mount Abraham Union High School
Bristol, Vermont
Teacher, reading paper by student #1: ‘I’m not living my life yet.’ Then whose life are you living?
Student #1, pointing to student #2: His.
Mount Abraham Union High School
Bristol, Vermont
Dude #1: Hey! Hey! Did you hear? They caught that person who killed those two people!
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: They caught that person who killed those two people. Or they arrested him, I’m not sure.
Dude #2: Who?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I saw it on TV.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachel
Dude on cell: I was so excited we got new washers in the dorm laundry room… I know! You can wash, like, an entire homeless person in those!
University of North Texas
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Big Rob
Tired suit #1: I think my mail guy is dead.
Tired suit #2: Yeah?
Tired suit #1: Yeah. I remember he was kinda sick and he was always drunk. Then he just stopped showing up.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lauren
Hot girl: It’s great to go out with new people. My friends and I are in a conversation slump — we realized that all our conversations ended up in stories about drugs or sex, so we said, ‘Let’s be normal, you know, and talk about women and football!’ So we ended up talking about all the transvestites we know and about synchronized swimming.
Bar 13
São Paulo
Brazil
Express care doctor: Really, I think Kevorkian had the right idea. He just went about executing it the wrong way.
Marquette General Hospital
Michigan
Queer: I just got into an argument with that guy because I’m wearing a Red Socks hat. Little does he know that I fuck men — I don’t give a shit about baseball. Ha.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Latina: I went to the beach and fell asleep and woke up black.
Lockport, Illinois
Nerd: … And those are just a few of the reasons I’ve been thinking about taking up the harmonica again.
University of Colorado-Boulder
Colorado
Overheard by: amused prof
Girl #1: Stalkers are the best because they make you feel kind of loved.
Girl #2: I’ve never had a stalker!
Girl #1: Oh, God! You’ve never had a stalker?
Girl #2: Well, not really.
Girl #1: Stalkers are really the best. Like Kyle — he was the really creepy kind, because he actually touched my butt in the dining hall, and it was gross.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/daily.html
Overheard by: rvl
