Stoner: That’s like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Stoner kid #1: I don’t eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The RQ
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he’s just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.
Wendy’s
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Jon
Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call‐waiting and that three‐way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Girl: Don’t worry, I won’t be lonely tonight. I’ve got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: … That’s, like, the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.“
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don’t know why we have them…
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
