Health & Hygiene

British girl: That being said, I don't worry about hiccups much, but I do worry about life a lot.

United Flight
Yerevan
Armenia

16-year-old: Mom, if you don't have herpes, why'd I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.

Illinois

Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.

Math Classroom
Hawaii

Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!’
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Addison

Amherst girl to Dartmouth guy, discussing Hillel dinners at Harvard: I turned down a position at Massachusetts General Hospital because they don't have squash courts.

Commuter Rail Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Guy #1: I'm so totally better than him. I have two properly functioning legs.
Guy #2: So does he, they just don't work quite as well as yours.
Guy #1: That's what the crutches are for.

High School
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Alex

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma

Guy (watching NuvaRing commercial): I don't know, I would think that taking one little pill every day would be less of a big deal than becoming…a cyborg.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Chick: I really think my gynecologist helps our relationship, though.

Starbucks
Edmond, Oklahoma

Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn’t that hurt your fluffy bits?

Memphis, Tennessee