Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Overheard by: rbmmom
Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Overheard by: rbmmom
Twentysomething guy, excitedly: And all I could think was “Thank god im circumsized!”
Cherry Blossom Festival, National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: sara aliza
Overexposed springbreaker: Well, since it was a communal dildo, I thought I would be considerate and clean it off.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Ew!
Angry guy to girlfriend at an art festival: How can you be allergic to a color?
Tempe, Arizona
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Dirty hippy skater dude: Oh man! I can smell myself.
Dirty hippy skater girl: I love it when I can smell myself!
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Construction worker yelling into manhole: As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a condom right now! Really! I put one on this morning.
10th and Pine
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Didn’t want to know
Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Patient: Yes, nuts!
Doctor: What happens when you ingest nuts?
Patient: They come out whole in my poop!
Waterloo, Iowa
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It’s funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should’ve stayed at the library…
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
