Angry guy to girlfriend at an art festival: How can you be allergic to a color?
Tempe, Arizona
Angry guy to girlfriend at an art festival: How can you be allergic to a color?
Tempe, Arizona
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Dirty hippy skater dude: Oh man! I can smell myself.
Dirty hippy skater girl: I love it when I can smell myself!
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Construction worker yelling into manhole: As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a condom right now! Really! I put one on this morning.
10th and Pine
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Didn’t want to know
Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Patient: Yes, nuts!
Doctor: What happens when you ingest nuts?
Patient: They come out whole in my poop!
Waterloo, Iowa
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It’s funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should’ve stayed at the library…
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
Girl to friend: I swear to god, if there is semen on my shirt, I will kill everyone.
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Tom and Laura
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes…
Man #2: Oh, dude, I’m gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn’t mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
