Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Hippie woman on cell: I don’t care what you wear. Just wear something that you’re okay getting Jell-O on… Yes, J-E-L-L-O.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: paula-t
Old black guy #1: We can eat here. It’s not too busy.
Old black guy #2: Damn! There sure ain’t no cutie pies in that motherfucker!
McDonald’s
New York
Guy: So I told her, ‘Stop busting my chops.’
Chick: What does that mean?
Guy: What does what mean?
Chick: ‘Busting my chops.’
Guy: You never heard that before?
Chick: I think so, but I never knew what it meant.
Guy: It means, like, breaking someone’s balls.
Chick: [Silent stare.]Guy: You never broke someone’s balls?
Chick: I don’t think so.
Guy: Well, you’re breaking my balls right now.
Westbury Music Fair
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: Yeah, there’s a Facebook group called ‘I’m a fermata, hold me.’
Professor: What?
Girl: You know, Facebook? YouTube?
Professor: What?!
Girl: You know, like, the Internet?
Professor: I know about the Internet! I know!
Sarah Lawrence College
New York
Mom, oblivious to sons sliding on ice through parking lot: So, I guess we want a tree that’s really tall, but not too wide…
Lady, wincing every time boys slide near a moving car: Wow, those two must be a handful, huh?
Mom: Oh, yeah. Actually, I have three, but the youngest is at home because he broke his neck and he’s too hard to cart around.
Syracuse, New York
Little boy wearing necklace: Mom, can I change my name to ‘Elizabeth’?
Frazzled mom: No, I told you — that’s a girl’s name, and you’re a boy.
Little boy: Well, can I change to a girl?
Frazzled mom: Not until you’re eighteen.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
Frustrated brunette: I just wish he would leave me alone! He’s always following me!
Friend #1: I know. I’m sorry, sweetie.
Frustrated brunette: What can I do? Maybe I can change the way I look so he won’t recognize me.
Friend #2, after long pause: You could cut off your legs!
Ithaca College
New York
Overheard by: LadyDisdain
