Guy: So I told her, ‘Stop busting my chops.’
Chick: What does that mean?
Guy: What does what mean?
Chick: ‘Busting my chops.’
Guy: You never heard that before?
Chick: I think so, but I never knew what it meant.
Guy: It means, like, breaking someone’s balls.
Chick: [Silent stare.]Guy: You never broke someone’s balls?
Chick: I don’t think so.
Guy: Well, you’re breaking my balls right now.
Westbury Music Fair
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: Yeah, there’s a Facebook group called ‘I’m a fermata, hold me.’
Professor: What?
Girl: You know, Facebook? YouTube?
Professor: What?!
Girl: You know, like, the Internet?
Professor: I know about the Internet! I know!
Sarah Lawrence College
New York
Mom, oblivious to sons sliding on ice through parking lot: So, I guess we want a tree that’s really tall, but not too wide…
Lady, wincing every time boys slide near a moving car: Wow, those two must be a handful, huh?
Mom: Oh, yeah. Actually, I have three, but the youngest is at home because he broke his neck and he’s too hard to cart around.
Syracuse, New York
Little boy wearing necklace: Mom, can I change my name to ‘Elizabeth’?
Frazzled mom: No, I told you — that’s a girl’s name, and you’re a boy.
Little boy: Well, can I change to a girl?
Frazzled mom: Not until you’re eighteen.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
Frustrated brunette: I just wish he would leave me alone! He’s always following me!
Friend #1: I know. I’m sorry, sweetie.
Frustrated brunette: What can I do? Maybe I can change the way I look so he won’t recognize me.
Friend #2, after long pause: You could cut off your legs!
Ithaca College
New York
Overheard by: LadyDisdain
Girl on cell in stall: She’s crazy. She called me this weekend saying that she had been kidnapped. Isn’t that weird? No, I didn’t call her back.
Library restroom, Westchester Community College
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: Catie
Dude playing Wii: That’s gonna be my one year anniversary with my Wii. I should take it out and buy it a purse…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Poor college kid #1: So, you used to break into cars?
Poor college kid #2: Yeah.
Poor college kid #1: How was that?
Rochester, New York
Dude standing in line: Because when I see Kit Kats, I think home pregnancy tests.
Wegmans
Rochester, New York
