New York

Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?

Manhattan, New York

Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don't push it.

Flight to New York

Overheard by: Erica Lynn

Girl, after hugging friend: Um, why do you smell like a scrotum?
Guy: Wait, what?

Manhattan, New York

Adorable little blond girl, ecstatically: Did our car get jacked?

Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy, clueless: Wow, I can't believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can't believe I fuck you every night.

Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Ellen

Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”

Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.”
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.

Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Hunter (aka

Big guy to buddy: If I’d shaved my mustache like I was planning to, none of this would have happened.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: sara

Guy to another: Dude, just study your nuts off and you'll be fine.

Binghamton University
New York