Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
Girl #1: He has, like, ACD or something!
Girl #2: You mean ‘OCD.’
Girl #3: No, you mean ‘ADD.’
Girl #1: Wait, no. I meant depression. He has depression.
Wal-Mart
Syracuse, New York
Chick to friend: I’m telling you — he’s a communist leprechaun posing as a democrat!
Auburn, New York
Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Hippie woman on cell: I don’t care what you wear. Just wear something that you’re okay getting Jell-O on… Yes, J-E-L-L-O.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: paula-t
Old black guy #1: We can eat here. It’s not too busy.
Old black guy #2: Damn! There sure ain’t no cutie pies in that motherfucker!
McDonald’s
New York
Guy: So I told her, ‘Stop busting my chops.’
Chick: What does that mean?
Guy: What does what mean?
Chick: ‘Busting my chops.’
Guy: You never heard that before?
Chick: I think so, but I never knew what it meant.
Guy: It means, like, breaking someone’s balls.
Chick: [Silent stare.]Guy: You never broke someone’s balls?
Chick: I don’t think so.
Guy: Well, you’re breaking my balls right now.
Westbury Music Fair
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: Yeah, there’s a Facebook group called ‘I’m a fermata, hold me.’
Professor: What?
Girl: You know, Facebook? YouTube?
Professor: What?!
Girl: You know, like, the Internet?
Professor: I know about the Internet! I know!
Sarah Lawrence College
New York
