Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?

Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.


Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.”
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.

Chino, California

Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.

Urbana, Illinois

Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards.

Austin, Texas

Obnoxious panhandler: Spare change if you give a shit! Spare change if you give a shit!
Sassy gay man walking by: I don't.
Obnoxious panhandler: Me neither!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: RP

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, “Jesus loves you.”] … It’s in the Bible!

Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Peggy

Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…


Overheard by:

Hobo: I tried skateboarding once, but I fell down and had a baby… Can I have some money?

Granville SkyTrain station
Vancouver, British Columbia

Overheard by: chad

Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You’re so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We’re already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don’t want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money…


Overheard by: Mirchi