Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will… rain crack.

Atlanta, Georgia

Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis… reduction… It’s too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until–
Man: –No.


Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni

Bum, to nobody in particular: I hate you, DJ Tanner!

Sacramento, California

Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I’ll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: 3 Hipsters

Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: I don't have change, but I do have this muffin.
Hobo: Can't buy no weed with a muffin!

Boston, Massachusetts

Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what’s they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium…
Homeless man: But what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene…
Homeless man: Peaches, what’s they job?

Farmer’s market, Union Square
New York, New York

Overheard by: I don’t know, either

Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There’s definitely a big hole in this thing!


Overheard by: dek

Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You’re so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We’re already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don’t want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money…


Overheard by: Mirchi

Furious hobo in tie-dye to frightened college student: You know why girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink! God bless you.

Berkeley, California