Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way

Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they’re expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven’t you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!

Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts

Posted on April 23, 2018
Cum, Gym rats, Massachusetts, Philosophy

It’s a Subtle Distinction, but an Important One

Man: That’s not love; that’s getting drunk and waking up naked in a barn.

Boise, Idaho

Posted on March 24, 2018
Guys, Idaho, Philosophy

How Intelligent Design Theorists Date

Girl to guy making out with her at bar: So, do you want my phone number?
Guy: If it was meant to be, I’ll guess it.

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: The Scandinavian

Posted on December 30, 2017
Guys, Kansas, Philosophy

New York Children Have Difficulty Fitting In Abroad

Teacher reading story to class: Little Bear hurt his head, and Big Bear kissed it better. Little Bear hurt his foot, and Big Bear kissed it better…
Six-year-old: Well, shit happens.

Sydney
Australia

Posted on October 31, 2017
Australia, Kids, Philosophy, Teachers

In My Hummer

Bartender: I can’t believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don’t care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.

Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on October 4, 2017
Arizona, Bartenders, Philosophy

I’m Thinking, I’m Thinking!

Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm… I’m not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.

Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey