Drunk lesbian to sober girlfriend: Aw, I wanna puke but I can't!
Sober girlfriend: I would punch you in the stomach if you wanted …that's how much I love you.
Drunk lesbian: Awww, that's sweet.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm… I’m not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.

Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey

American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Foreign student, in Spanish: When I woke up the next morning, my stomach was so sore. Of all the parts of me I thought would get sore after a night of debauchery, the stomach isn’t even in the top 10.

Rector Lopez Argueta
Granada, Andalusia

Overheard by: Kelly

Guy: Dude, that is your belly.

Girl: My stomach hurts…
Guy: Maybe you should stop having so much butt sex.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Professor, discussing types of fat: Babies aren't fat like… (points at a fat girl) No, I don't want to say that… like my tummy.

University of Georgia

Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Alice Haefeli

Girl #1: My stomach hurts.
Girl #2: Ew, girl! You pregnant!

Charlotte, North Carolina