Nipples

20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168160/what-is-payback-for-bloody-nipples.html

Overheard by: 5 rows up

Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.

Library
Plano, Texas

Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can’t have small boobs. That’s like impossible. It’s, like, natural selection or something.

Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rebecca

Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?

Starbuck’s, Castro Street
Mountain View, California

Overheard by: touché

Sorority girl: Yeah, he like, totally judges me for having fourteen nipples.

Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia

Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts

Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.

Roller Derby Game
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: Jay

Married man at party: They went after my nipples!

Washington

Overheard by: Salazar

Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…

London
England

Overheard by: gin

20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, “Whoa, mom–your nipples are like top hats!”

Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sara