Bitter guy: Girls don’t care about men, so I can’t relate to them. And men only care about sports, food, video games, and women. I do like to eat, but I hate women. I don’t like sports at all, and I’m soooo good at video games that other people can’t play with me because I am just too awesome.
Girl sitting at the table with him: Yeah…
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Guy in crowd evacuated from theater due to fire alarm: This is all a marketing trick… Just watch — any minute now one of those fire trucks is going to transform!
Transformers showing, AMC Theatre
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: JoBell
Dude: I don’t like watching anything set from the olden days. You know, like Bridget Jones’ Diary… Or anything British.
Blockbuster
California
Overheard by: Define olden days
Male fashionista: Deepness is just a less shallow superficiality.
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell’s a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for ‘light.’ You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast — lemur.
Teen girl #1: You’re so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.
Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Bimbette: Well, discriminating against the Muslims is different than against, like, the Russians for Hitler and everything.
Archbishop Spalding High School
Severn, Maryland
Overheard by: Wait, is she kidding?
Middle-aged student: … But technically, can a woman get pregnant by two different men?
Biology professor: Depends on what party she went to.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jessica
