Boy holding a box of revolutionary war army men: Mom, who won this war?
Mom: Y’know, I’m not sure.
Craft Store
Wisconsin
MIT frat boy #1: I’m just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um… Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?
JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: baffled
Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait…I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don’t only boys have sternums?
[pause]Girl #3: I think you’re thinking of scrotum…
University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…
Los Angeles, California
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We’ve been through so much together –four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I’m not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I’m only drinking beers tonight.
Pinehaven
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
