Guy #1: If I make a lot of money, I’m gonna hire a dwarf to stand on a stool and help me wash in the shower.
Guy #2: Why couldn’t you get a full-sized woman to do that?
Nearby chick: I hope neither of you ever make any money.
Stanford, Connecticut
Guy #1: If I make a lot of money, I’m gonna hire a dwarf to stand on a stool and help me wash in the shower.
Guy #2: Why couldn’t you get a full-sized woman to do that?
Nearby chick: I hope neither of you ever make any money.
Stanford, Connecticut
Customer: I want that shirt. The one with the cool-looking gun on it.
Employee: Gun? Dude, that’s Florida…
Boston, Massachusetts
Proctor: What do you believe is the current state of our country?
Pageant contestant: Wisconsin. Wait… Can I change my answer?
Beauty pageant
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Guy #1, poked with pencil: Shit! That hurt!
Guy #2: That’s what she said!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: That’s what she said.
Guy #1: That doesn’t even make any sense…
Guy #2: That’s what she said!
Guy #1: Dude! You’re not even using it right!
Guy #2: That’s what she said!
Guy #1: Go fuck yourself! [Walks away.]Guy #2, yelling back: That’s what she said!
Carmel, Indiana
Overheard by: POS
English student #1: Girl, don’t even tell me you was where you was, ’cause you wasn’t there!
English student #2: Foo’! Don’t be tellin’ me where I is and where I isn’t! I is where I is at!
927 Franklin Street
Iowa
Overheard by: grammer teachah
Bimbette: Of course dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Mike
Worker, about Administrative Professionals’ Day: We don’t have administrative professionals here… Just computers.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/04/if-only-hallmark-made-card-that-said-i.html
Guy #1: No, I mean, this dude is old-school.
Guy #2: Like, how old-school?
Guy #1: Like, so old-school he plays tennis!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/05/wii-tennis-anyone.html
Overheard by: brad
High school physics teacher: You see, everything has a gravitational force, so everything is attracted to everything else. For example, I am attracted to this door. This… is a really… nice door. And this table — this is a really, really nice table… But I really like the door.
Massachusetts
