Teachers

Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys, right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/292935894/put-it-in-biology-class.html

Overheard by: we would name it tarzan.

60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Marina

History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya’ll get high from this, you’re welcome.

High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: thank you!

Second grade teacher: Okay, so if you are what you eat, what food would you be?
Student #1: Cake!
Student #2: Candy!
Student #3: Beer!
Second grade teacher: No, you can’t choose that. It’s illegal for you to drink beer.
Student #3: But I drink it all the time!

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Student: Hi professor, we need some help with our regressions.
Professor, cutting her off: Enough about you. I got a new dog yesterday, look I have a picture!
Student: Uhh… He’s cute?

Wellesley, Massachusetts

Teacher, on Rosh Hashanah: Dylan?
Dylan: Here.
Teacher: Katie?
Katie: Here.
Teacher: Adam?
Class: Jew.

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
Two-year-old girl: I don't go potty anymore; I listen to music.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/420122010/i-listen-to-music-to-make-potty-time-easier.html

Overheard by: wayzata

Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!

Art Class, Middle School
Maryland

Teacher: Listen, I guarantee that by the time you graduate, each one of you will have a form of herpes.

New York City, New York