Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Teacher: In a representative democracy, if you don’t like who’s in office, what can you do?
Student: Impeach him!
Teacher: Well, that’s too drastic, what else?
Same student: Assassination?
9th Grade World Geography Class
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: amused teacher’s aide
[Girl leaves class in the middle of a lesson]Professor: She didn’t like what I was saying? I’m so upset, I’m going to go to the garden and eat fuzzy worms.
Marist College
Poughkepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn’t have been more than eight, say “bitches and hoes.”
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: … No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Poetry professor: I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “sniffing” I think of sex!
SUNY Purchase
New York
Overheard by: S. Van-Ho
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can’t let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]Philosophy professor: It’s not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
