Male professor: Yes, Miss…? Uh…
Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver.
Professor: Beaver? How come I don’t remember that being your last name? You don’t look like a ‘Beaver.’ Maybe if you were wet… [Entire class goes silent, then erupts with laughter.]Professor, embarrassed: I meant because beavers live around the water!
History class, Northern Virginia Community College
Annandale, Virginia
Overheard by: Classmate
Professor: I will now hand back your exams… These exams are in the order of who I would most like to date.
http://overheardatumbc.com
Guest professor on psychoanalysis, responding to student question: It will be like… Shit equals penis equals money.
Graduate Literature Theory class
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I heart grad school
Professor with heavy German accent: Have a good weekend, and don’t get broken by pleasure!
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Boy: Can you have sex when a girl is really pregnant?
Health teacher: Well, you’d have to be creative.
Boy: What? You mean like role playing?
Annandale, Virginia
Professor to student: Do you mind if I ask if your testicles are still intact?
Lakehead University
Ontario
Canadia
Professor: Who can tell me the difference between a birch tree and a beech tree?
Student: A beech tree’s got lighter bark.
Professor: But otherwise there’s no difference?
Student: I dunno ’bout the leaves or anything, but when you buy furniture from IKEA, beech wood’s always lighter.
Professor: But could you identify a birch tree from a beech tree if you saw one on campus?
Student: If I cut it down, maybe.
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Teacher, reading paper by student #1: ‘I’m not living my life yet.’ Then whose life are you living?
Student #1, pointing to student #2: His.
Mount Abraham Union High School
Bristol, Vermont
High school student #1: Sir, what movie are we going to be watching?
Teacher: Well, until we get the VCR fixed, we’ll be watching dead air.
High school student #2: What year was that movie made, sir?
Bus
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?
College of Charleston
South Carolina
