Instead I Politely Smell Your Crotch

Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”

Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: heerothewizard

Posted on January 28, 2026
California, Chicks, Comebacks, Education, Etiquette, Gender issues, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Tweens

And You’d Be Like, “I Got the Pus-sy!”

Lady professor: AU is so different, there are so many females here. When I was in college, my sophomore year it was a five to one ratio! Males to females! The men were hanging from the trees. You’d walk through campus, wary, and then you’d sit at the cafeteria table and look up from your breakfast and there would be five guys -just staring at you!

Justice Research Class, American University
Washington, D.C.

Posted on January 21, 2026
Bragging, Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Gender issues, Memory lane, Sexuality, Teachers, Washington, DC, Women

Not Unless There’s a Rocket in There

Teacher: Come, take a journey with me into *David’s pockets.

MDN High School
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 15, 2026
Arizona, Clothes, Education, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

But You’re Probably at Least Drunk

Professor: You may not be the target audience. You may not be on drugs!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik

Posted on January 12, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Drugs, Education, New York, Teachers

Well, You’re Not Gonna Turn Kids Off Sex with the Truth!

Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey