[Teacher rises from desk and moves to white board while carrying sheet of paper.]
Student: What are you doing? [Teacher begins writing on white board.] What are you doing?!
Teacher: I’m writing down your homework!
Student: Oh, I thought you were going to hurt us.
Teacher: I’m just holding a piece of paper!
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Giggling student
Italian exchange student: Why do you celebrate Thanksgiving in America?
Teacher: Because of the pilgrims! Anyone want to explain?
Student: The pilgrims can suck it!
Marcos de Niza High School
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: J.
Teacher during earthquake drill: Guys, if we die right now, I love you!
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Kelsey
Male professor: Yes, Miss…? Uh…
Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver.
Professor: Beaver? How come I don’t remember that being your last name? You don’t look like a ‘Beaver.’ Maybe if you were wet… [Entire class goes silent, then erupts with laughter.]Professor, embarrassed: I meant because beavers live around the water!
History class, Northern Virginia Community College
Annandale, Virginia
Overheard by: Classmate
Professor: I will now hand back your exams… These exams are in the order of who I would most like to date.
http://overheardatumbc.com
Guest professor on psychoanalysis, responding to student question: It will be like… Shit equals penis equals money.
Graduate Literature Theory class
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I heart grad school
Professor with heavy German accent: Have a good weekend, and don’t get broken by pleasure!
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Boy: Can you have sex when a girl is really pregnant?
Health teacher: Well, you’d have to be creative.
Boy: What? You mean like role playing?
Annandale, Virginia
Professor to student: Do you mind if I ask if your testicles are still intact?
Lakehead University
Ontario
Canadia
Professor: Who can tell me the difference between a birch tree and a beech tree?
Student: A beech tree’s got lighter bark.
Professor: But otherwise there’s no difference?
Student: I dunno ’bout the leaves or anything, but when you buy furniture from IKEA, beech wood’s always lighter.
Professor: But could you identify a birch tree from a beech tree if you saw one on campus?
Student: If I cut it down, maybe.
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
