Professor: And the French, they?re only worth 2/3 of a person because, well, they?re on our side, but they don?t fight well.
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Professor: And the French, they?re only worth 2/3 of a person because, well, they?re on our side, but they don?t fight well.
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Professor: The Civil War actually brought along a lot of the standardized clothing measurements that we use today, though they were much more in-depth, such as inseam in relation to knuckle-width and things like that… And, of course, they measured penis size.
Student: Why?
Professor: Well, because it’s one of the things you can measure.
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Professor: I will now hand back your exams… These exams are in the order of who I would most like to date.
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Professor: Okay, time to get back to class.
Student: But this conversation is so rewarding.
Professor: Sorry, but some of us have to go out drinking later tonight.
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Professor: You take some guppies from different populations in Trinidad, put them into little plastic bags, shove them down your pants, and smuggle them through the airport back to the lab in California. At least, that?s what we did.
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Professor: Even my own mother tells people I’m a drug dealer.
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Professor: I try to say the word “sex” at least two or three times a class to wake people up.
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Guy talking too loudly on cell phone: Honestly, if you took a dump and smeared it all over my chest, you know, in my face and all that, I?d be fine. Actually I might not, thats pretty extreme, but you know…
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Professor: People break laws all the time, like stop signs and oral sex.
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Student: There's no child out there that's like, “you know what I want today, I want to have sex with a forty-year-old man, that's what I'm really craving today.”
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