Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Professor: Children aren’t property — you can’t just throw them in a blender.
Philosophy class, University of New Hampshire
Durham, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Shadowsurfr1
Teacher: I love you, Daniel*, and I love you, Jacob*, and I love you, Madison*.
Class clown: Do you love me?
Teacher: I like you.
Class clown, after class stops laughing: So you don’t love me?
Teacher: I try to love you — I really do.
Durham School of the Arts
Durham, North Carolina
Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Professor: Facts are doo-doo.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Biology Student
Teacher: You will build a car from a mouse trap.
Student #1: Those things are dangerous!
Teacher: What?
Student #1: People have died from them!
Student #2: Who’s died from a mousetrap?
Student #1: Over 16 babies have been killed by mousetraps.
Teacher, after pause: People, keep your babies away from it.
http://overheardinhighschool.blogspot.com/
Student: What does ‘STP’ stand for?
Teacher: ‘Standard temperature and pressure.’ Also, ‘Stone Temple Pilots.’
Chemistry class
Provo, Utah
Teacher: Well, what do you think it would be like if you had a penis on your forehead? What would you do if you saw a pretty girl?
Kodiak High School
Kodiak, Alaska
Professor #1, during a mock voir dire: Where’d you get shot, sir?
Professor #2: In the butt! It’s a recent thing! People shoot the victim in the butt!
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Student: Professor Barnes*, can you please explain where you got the last line there?
Professor: [Looks at blackboard, turns back to the class, and clasps his hands] It came from God.
University of Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: stopped going to class after this
