Professor on first day of class: I used to go around and have everyone tell me their name, year, and what they hope to get from taking this class, but I decided that frankly, I don’t actually care.
Digital Media Class, Boston College
Boston, Massachusetts
German teacher: Mmm, ahhh-gentive! It’s like a spicy taco!
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: bekkaroo
Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell ‘tree’ chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, ‘But the T sounds like a ch–!’ and he would say, ‘That’s because you’re a damn foreigner!’
http://overheardatumbc.com/
Three-year-old: You’re funny!
Teacher #1: You’re funny.
Three-year-old: No, you’re funny.
Teacher #1: No, you’re funny.
Three-year-old: You’re hot.
Teacher #1: [Stunned silence.]Teacher #2: I’m not even touching that one.
Rochester, New York
Professor: Children aren’t property — you can’t just throw them in a blender.
Philosophy class, University of New Hampshire
Durham, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Shadowsurfr1
Teacher: I love you, Daniel*, and I love you, Jacob*, and I love you, Madison*.
Class clown: Do you love me?
Teacher: I like you.
Class clown, after class stops laughing: So you don’t love me?
Teacher: I try to love you — I really do.
Durham School of the Arts
Durham, North Carolina
Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Professor: Facts are doo-doo.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Biology Student
Teacher: You will build a car from a mouse trap.
Student #1: Those things are dangerous!
Teacher: What?
Student #1: People have died from them!
Student #2: Who’s died from a mousetrap?
Student #1: Over 16 babies have been killed by mousetraps.
Teacher, after pause: People, keep your babies away from it.
http://overheardinhighschool.blogspot.com/
Student: What does ‘STP’ stand for?
Teacher: ‘Standard temperature and pressure.’ Also, ‘Stone Temple Pilots.’
Chemistry class
Provo, Utah
