I Would Simonize It All Day Long

Weight lifter to buddy: If I had a vagina, I would call it Simon!

Australian National University Gym
Canberra
Australia

Posted on November 10, 2013
Australia, Guys, Names

And a Machete

Lady at fruit stall: Well, it's her birthday… I'd better buy her a coconut!

Brisbane
Australia

Posted on August 18, 2011
Australia, Fruit, Gifts, Shopping, Weirdness, Women

If Men Won't Be Men, Then Women Will

Emo boy to mother in women's clothing store: I'm more feminine than anyone in here!

Coffs Harbour
Australia

Posted on June 21, 2011
Australia, Bragging, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

That's What You Keep Saying About Your Pregnancies!

Teenager #1: Why does the train keep stopping?
Teenager #2: Because it has to stop at train stations.
Teenager #1: Ohmigod, train stations are so random!

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Angela

Posted on March 29, 2011
Australia, Public transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Teens

Your Editors Liked This Quote So Much, We Were All, “We Like This Quote So Much!”

Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, “there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!”

Sydney
Australia

Posted on January 22, 2011
Animals, Australia, On the phone, Sensory experiences, Stupidity, Women

If I Returned You, I'd Only Get Store Credit

Mother to crying newborn: Wah, wah, wah! Your life is so hard!

Target
Australia

Posted on December 24, 2010
Australia, Kids, Moms, Offspring, Parenting, Weirdness

When You Stick a Key Into It, All It Does Is Sputter.

60-something tourist holding map, looking bewildered: So why is it called lemon chicken anyway?

Canberra
Australia

Posted on October 5, 2010
Australia, Food, Names, Questions, Tourists

Now People Will Know We're Together

Obese little girl, singing: Where'd you get your body from? I got it from my mama! I got it from my mama!
Really obese mother: Shhh!

Charlestown
NSW
Australia

Posted on September 1, 2010
Australia, Diet & weight, Fat people, Kids, Moms, Parenting

Or I'm Sure He Would If We Could Locate Him.

Mother to four-year-old daughter: You're forgetting mummy is mummy and not daddy. Daddy is the one who cares.

Target
Australia

Posted on August 24, 2010
Australia, Family ties, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Stores

Hence The Taming Of the Jew

Girl at history class: Ohhh, I get it! So, Shakespeare got his ideas from Hitler!

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Toya Lah

Posted on July 28, 2010
Australia, Books, Class, History, Students, Stupidity