Drunks

Drunk guy #1: I don't know, I bet she was a nice-looking Irish lass back in her day.
Drunk guy #2: You keep calling my grandma a piece of ass like it's a compliment.

Bar
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Mike K.

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

Drunk guy #1 (looking at girl's patterned shirt): Woah, what is on your shirt? It's so confusing.
Girl: It's just a bunch of overlapping circles.
Drunk guy #1: It looks like never-ending sunsets!
Drunk guy #2: It looks like angry rainbows!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!

Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee

Overheard by: bluecollarbelle

Drunk guy to friend: And it was like a mini-orgasm. I swear, it was the best pee ever.

Monash University Dorms
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Australian L

Drunk girl: Hey. Hey! Everyone be quiet for a second — I want to make a toast. I just want to remind everyone why we’re here, and that’s because my brother finally shit successfully.
Drunk guy: What the fuck did she just say?

House party
Holbrook, New York

Overheard by: pc

Very loud drunk guy, standing at a urinal while he tries to open his zipper: How the fuck do they do this?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Drunk guy outside window: I didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!

Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland

Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)

Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!

King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England

Overheard by: Andrea

Sober girl: Look, all I'm saying is, I wouldn't fucking mess with her. She's clinically insane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she's really smart. There are those people, you know, that are so smart they're like actually crazy… Real mental, and we just think they're weird, but they're not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do realize that she drew pictures of her friends decapitated, right?

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: Were they talking about the same person?