Was I Awake?

Tipsy girlfriend, playing “Never Have I Ever”: Never have I ever done 69 with anyone.
Boyfriend: Ping.
Girlfriend: What?! Who did you 69?!
Boyfriend: You, fool!
Girlfriend: Oh.

Ohio University
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: outfirst

Posted on March 16, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Couples, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Games, Girls, Guys, Ohio, Questions, Relationships, Sex

Hey! I’m Not Dying Yet!

Drunk college student: What’s up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla’ at your boy.

Green Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: On my way to church

Posted on February 23, 2026
Advice, Drunks, Feelings, Frat boy types, God, Homeless, Offspring, Students

For One Thing, He Looks Less Like a Gay Man

[Beauty & the Beast sing-a-long.]Drunk girl: Is it just me… or is the beast-beast hotter than the human beast?

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Posted on February 9, 2026
Beauty, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Girls, Movies, North Carolina, Questions, Sexuality

“Take, Eat, This Is My Body” Would Actually Work As a Pick-Up Line

Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!

Duluth, Minnesota

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on February 1, 2026
Compare and contrast, Drunks, Frat boy types, Guys, Jesus, Minnesota, Students, Wishes

And Can I Use Your Leg As a Scratching Post?

Patron #1: Keith is really sorry to have acted like that.
Bartender: Does he even realize how drunk he was?
Patron #1: I’m just saying, that is not the Keith we know
Patron #2: [starts laughing].
Bartender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Patron #1: I’m just letting you know, that according to all the cats he knows, you are the meow [makes a pawing gesture].
Bartender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Patron #2: He doesn’t even know who Keith is.
Patron #1: Where are we?

Bennigans
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on January 15, 2026
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Compliments, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Florida, Guys, Questions

Storytelling Is a Lost Art

Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once… Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.

Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil

Posted on January 12, 2026
Beauty, Bimbettes, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Restaurants, Sexuality

As I Have Noticed Your Lack of Training Wheels

Drunk girl in bar to bartender: You should be so lucky as to have sex with me.
Bartender: I wouldn’t fuck you for practice.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: warm ups?

Posted on January 11, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Bimbettes, Comebacks, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Pride, Sex, Sexuality, Virginia

But Apparently That’s Not How Job Interviews Work

Girl walking to bus stop drunk: I just wanted to walk in, get groped and leave.

Pheasant Run
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Brandon Call

Posted on January 8, 2026
Bimbettes, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Girls, Gripes, Sexuality, Virginia, Wishes

We’re Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time

Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I’m only drinking beers tonight.

Pinehaven
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Idiots, New Zealand, Questions, Stupidity, Words

And Won First Prize at the Science Fair

Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!

BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Drunk Girl

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Guys, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Sexuality, Weirdness

Drunks