Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Botany professor, lecturing on plant reproduction: Now, I'm sure you all know plenty about sex in humans by now. (pause) Because of the Ontario school system. (pause) And…stuff.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The Shrew
Foreign language professor on first day of class (in Russian): By the end of this year, I will have you singing like Russian whores!
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Professor: I don’t think we’ll have class on Monday — I’d rather you study for the final… Preferably not at a bar… But I realize the temptation may be tremendous.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Girl: So, it’s like this — a slut is a girl who says, ‘Look at my boobies,’ but a whore is a girl who says, ‘Touch my boobies.’
Friends: [Silence.]
Eleanor Roosevelt High School
Corona, California
Overheard by: trying to watch a performance
Grumbling student: … But I’ve tooken so many Englishes before…!
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: McStupid
English teacher, on how language features are used in advertisements: So in the end, this advertisement is making all the single women of the world think “hello? I wanna be like the yoghurt!”
English Class
Christchurch
New Zealand
Professor: Sorry, I think I just gave a few of you post-traumatic Chaucer disorder.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Native American girl: Yeah, when I was in kindergarten, I was the only Mexican in class. Well, except for Reema. She's Lebanese.
High School
San Diego, California
