Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.
Target
Voorhees, New Jersey
Overheard by: deno
Undergrad: The whole reason I like the book was, like, because Isaac Newton is so badass!
Friend: I thought he was, like, an asshole.
Undergrad: No!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: whatgoesup
Girl to mother: You know, that’s why I’m so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.
Aurora, Colorado
Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver’s Travels.
[Pause.]Boy: There’d be kitten penises everywhere!
Warwick, England
Dude: “I am Legend”? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
TA: It’s like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Professor: I thought this was made up, but then I read it in a book, which of course means it?s true.
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Annoyed suit: Sir, don’t make me break out the “Canterbury Tales!”
Washington, DC
Serious girl: Nothing important has ever been typed with the thumbs.
UNT Campus
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Having a Cigarette Break
