(40‐something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Ocala, Florida

Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”

East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Mom to two kids: Now, you can both get one paperback each, but remember, they have to be normal paperbacks. Nothing about dragons.

New Haven, Connecticut

Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non‐verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Teen girl #1, looking at bookmarks: Oh – I would totally read if I had a cool bookmark!
Teen girl #2: Oh, me too, for sure!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Customer: Do you have any non‐fiction books on vampires?

Dymocks Carousel
Perth, Western Australia

Overheard by: Richard

Teen guy: Yeah, we got like, so wasted!
Teen girl #1: It was great, yeah. We got so high.
Teen girl #2: Where did you guys get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: What?
Teen girl #2: If you guys were getting high, where did you get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: That’s drunk. You get high off weed.
Teen girl #2: Oh. Okay. Then, where’d you get that?
Teen guy: My sister. She’s sixteen!
Teen girl #2: Can’t you get high off books?
Teen guy: What?
Teen girl #2: Cause, can’t, like…books get you high?
Teen girl #1: What?

East Vancouver, BC

Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?

Tucson, Arizona

Guy #1: Check out that girl’s ensemble. Interesting.
Gut #2: I bet she read a book about how to wear her scarf.

Antonio’s Pizza
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Chris

Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: “you know niggas can’t read!”