Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Student: I just have a question about the alphabet.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Teacher: In a representative democracy, if you don’t like who’s in office, what can you do?
Student: Impeach him!
Teacher: Well, that’s too drastic, what else?
Same student: Assassination?
9th Grade World Geography Class
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: amused teacher’s aide
[Girl leaves class in the middle of a lesson]Professor: She didn’t like what I was saying? I’m so upset, I’m going to go to the garden and eat fuzzy worms.
Marist College
Poughkepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of ’68? [silence] I always ask. I’m hoping at some point I’ll find my old girlfriend.
JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
MIT frat boy #1: I’m just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um… Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Dude: “I am Legend”? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
