Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of ’68? [silence] I always ask. I’m hoping at some point I’ll find my old girlfriend.
JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
MIT frat boy #1: I’m just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um… Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Dude: “I am Legend”? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn’t have been more than eight, say “bitches and hoes.”
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: … No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can’t let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]Philosophy professor: It’s not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Student: I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don’t know, so I’m trying to learn all these alphabets… I must be paranoid, I don’t know.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: l_tau
Professor: So what sorts of people travel abroad and exploit children that are forced into prostitution?
Student: Canadians.
[Class remains silent and professor stares.]Student: …I… Was just kidding.
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
