School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Teacher, handing out candy to class: They’re really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That’s the best part.

High School
Calgary, Alberta

Girl #1: So, yeah, when the cops like think you’re kinda drunk or something, they’ll get you to do the ABCs.
Girl #2: What? I can’t even do that when I’m sober! I’ll try now. A, b, c, d, e, f… then j, maybe?

High School Gym Class

Overheard by: Myr Myr

50‐something female to Native American presenter in elementary school: Is it true that the arrival of whites changed your way of life?

Denver, Colorado

Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.

Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia

Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it’s thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I’ll show you!

High School
Skillman, New Jersey

Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they’re talking about.

Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let’s make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What’s your team name?
Ten‐year‐old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten‐year‐old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.

English School

Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!

Georgia Tech

Overheard by: YellowJacketGals

Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.

Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl’s face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?

Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Deathly Confused