Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.
Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas
Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.
Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas
Professor: The dew line -by the way, any Rush fans in here?
(three or four raise hands in a class of 200)
Professor: Only three? That’s a sad state of affairs.
Canadian History Lecture
University of Toronto
Canadia
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!
High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: humanities student
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.
Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?
Hoboken, New Jersey
Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.
Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: a middle school slut
