Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!
High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: humanities student
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.
High School
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick
Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.
Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?
Hoboken, New Jersey
Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.
Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: a middle school slut
Freshman theater student: So we were in acting class and we did this exercise where we had to portray mythological creatures, and afterwards when we were telling the class what we were, this one kid said: “I was Jesus!”
MBTA
Boston, Massachusetts
Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There’s a state called Mankato?!
University of Minnesota, Minnesota
