Education

Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.

Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!

Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey

Overheard by: Diana

Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!

College
New York

Overheard by: DizzyLizzy

German teacher: Mmm, ahhh-gentive! It’s like a spicy taco!

Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: bekkaroo

Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell ‘tree’ chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, ‘But the T sounds like a ch–!’ and he would say, ‘That’s because you’re a damn foreigner!’

http://overheardatumbc.com/

Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.

Bellevue Community College
Washington

Overheard by: The Kid

Professor: Facts are doo-doo.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Biology Student

Student: Professor Barnes*, can you please explain where you got the last line there?
Professor: [Looks at blackboard, turns back to the class, and clasps his hands] It came from God.

University of Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: stopped going to class after this

Poli-Sci professor on impeachment of federal judges: Once they’re there, they’re nearly impossible to remove… They just keep hanging in there… Kinda like herpes.

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Northeastern University girl: I’m so nervous about that Economics test…
Northeastern University guy: Oh, that? That class is so easy. You just have to go to class.
Northeastern University girl: See, if I go to class, I get confused and don’t get it, so I don’t bother going anymore.

39 bus
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: let me clue you in