Drunk girl, loudly: Anyone who says they’ve never had an itchy asshole is just fucking lying.
Cock O the Walk Bar
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Beer Bitch
Drunk girl, loudly: Anyone who says they’ve never had an itchy asshole is just fucking lying.
Cock O the Walk Bar
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Beer Bitch
Dude: You know, less than half of Snapple facts are true.
Chick: Really? Because I totally cited those in research papers.
College Park, Maryland
Professor: We have to accept the fact that there are still individuals in this country who are horribly racist, who have a completely backwards system of beliefs… Now, I call that person ‘Nana,’ but that’s neither here nor there.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Professor, about PowerPoint: You guys don’t have this slide in your notes… Hahaha!
UC Davis Vet School
California
Angry woman on cell: I told you — we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!
Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!
Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
German teacher: Mmm, ahhh-gentive! It’s like a spicy taco!
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: bekkaroo
Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell ‘tree’ chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, ‘But the T sounds like a ch–!’ and he would say, ‘That’s because you’re a damn foreigner!’
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