Not Unless There’s a Rocket in There

Teacher: Come, take a journey with me into *David’s pockets.

MDN High School
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 15, 2026
Arizona, Clothes, Education, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

But You’re Probably at Least Drunk

Professor: You may not be the target audience. You may not be on drugs!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik

Posted on January 12, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Drugs, Education, New York, Teachers

Well, You’re Not Gonna Turn Kids Off Sex with the Truth!

Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Advice, Default, Education, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Teachers, Vagina

Or “Freshmen”

Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on January 3, 2026
Class, Default, Education, Pop culture, Science, Teachers, Virginia, Words, Zombies

Mom’s Been Forcing Her to Watch Seventh Heaven, to No Avail

Goth girl: I’m so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you’re turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado