Teen girl in bathroom #1: I'd hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can't poop in a urinal?

High School
Coral Springs, Florida

Girl #1: It was the size of a Double-A battery.
Girl #2: Best sex ever, right?
Girl #1, shamefully: I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

Miami, Florida

Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.

Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida

Man, pulling out salad on airplane: Now I can get back to what really matters. Chicken.

Flight over Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Nic

Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: If you can wax a car…

Girl on phone: I’ll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!

Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida

Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene

Left on voice mail: I wanted to talk to you about these cupcakes. They are making me a little nervous. Call me.

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: friend of the cupcake king

Black chick: I’m sorry — I don’t have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate…

Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove

Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.

Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida