Flight attendant: As we prepare to disembark, please check to make sure you have not abandoned any bags, personal items or children. All abandoned items will be divided up among the flight attendants, except the children, who will be given to the captain.
JetBlue Flight
Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.
Southwest Airlines Flight #135
Flight attendant to another: I don’t mean to alarm you, but last night I went into cardiac arrest.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/cool.html
Overheard by:
Flight attendant, before takeoff: My name is Marynell. That’s ‘Mary’ and ‘Nell,’ not just Mary… But that’s probably too much information since this is such a short flight.
United flight 6056
Madison, Wisconsin to Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: archdiva
Pilot: Sorry for the delay — we are waiting for the cleaning team. Someone had a problem in the washrooms.
Flight attendant: I’d like to remind everyone that you should poop in the toilet — not outside of the hole but in the hole. Thank you for your collaboration.
Flight near takeoff
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Julien
Flight attendant: Should the overhead oxygen masks deploy, please put the mask around your face as I will now demonstrate… [Puts mask on, then breathes heavily] Luuuke, I am your father…
US Airways flight to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.
Oakland Airport, California
Overheard by: kat
Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don't push it.
Flight to New York
Overheard by: Erica Lynn
Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn't work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!
Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico
Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.
Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans
Overheard by: Passenger A 44
