Florida

Guy: So, she and her boyfriend got really drunk and, long story short, she now has to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I’m 5’6″! That’s gay!

Baldwin Park, Florida

Overheard by: hmm… point taken.

Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.

University of Miami
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Stosh

Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?

Orlando, Florida

Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.

University of South Florida

Random girl in hallway: If you have a stuffy nose and are in an elevator with someone who just farted, but you don't know they did, does it still smell bad?

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Jen

Coworker, about Dick Clark's New Year's Eve: For people our age it's just not New Year's until we see Dick.

Sanford, Florida

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Bookstore
Ocala, Florida

Mom to five-year-old son who is standing quietly: Settle down before I have to give you another pill!

Line for a theme park ride
Florida

Overheard by: Kim

Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don't like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You'll be fine, grandma. Come on!

Universal Studios
Florida