Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, ‘Did you hook up with a homeless guy?’ and I was all like, ‘No, of course not! Never say that again!‘
Best friend, laughing hard: I can’t believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It’s not a big deal.

Haight Street
San Francisco, California

Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn’t remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn’t remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”

Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Preppy girl: I want a t‑shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina — I totally deserve one!

Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?

Preppy Hispanic girl: He thinks he’s so gangsta‐gangsta, but he’s not. He’s a wangsta‐wangsta.

Nashville, Tennessee

High school dude #1: It’s like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit’s important.

Santa Ana, California

Preppy girl #1: You know you can’t have sex for like, six moths after you have an abortion?
Preppy girl #2: That’s stupid! Why wouldn’t you just fall down some stairs?


Preppy girl: Wait, Irish people are from Ireland? I always thought they were from Italy!

Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Lily F.

Preppy chick to friend: …and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it’s easy to make.

Ohio State University

Overheard by: GameBoy Kid

Preppy Asian chick on cell: I don’t care if he’s dying. I’m not going to move my car from a parking spot.

University of Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica

Freshman boy trying to flirt with girl: I’m from Boston and he’s from Boston and he’s Chinese and he likes Bruce Lee, naked, naked, naked. (pokes Chinese friend)

University Library
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: Brianna