Guy: Do you spit or swallow?
Preppy girl: I don’t know. I just chew.
Florida
Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don’t mix your reds and your whites!
Boulder, Colorado
Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]Preppy girl: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and –you just take off your bottoms and –no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms–.
[Friends erupt in laughter.]Preppy girl: I just mean –I just like not wearing pants…
High School
San Diego, California
Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?
JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: baffled
Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]
Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I’ve had pubic hair is three days.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kt
Preppy girl #1: Wow, now we all have the same necklace! We should all wear them the next time we go out!
Preppy girl #2: Yeah! We’d be like the Power Rangers or something!
Preppy girl #3: Or we’d be like douchebags.
Eastern Market
Washington, DC
Overheard by: office peon does d.c.
Preppy girl: Oh my god, I have, like, two wives. I think I have a husband… I used to have a boyfriend and two wives.
Guy: That seems to happen to a lot of people…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shiny
Preppy teen girl #1: Well, do you like her?
Preppy teen girl #2: I mean, yeah, I like her… But she has got to do something about her mustache!
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Sam
Preppy guy on cell: So, you’re pissed. I guess ’cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand — ’cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, ‘Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend’ to her? … Look, babe, I love you, but I’m 19 and I’m human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!
Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Drew
