Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Bethany

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

Not-very-smooth guy to attractive woman at bar: I just want to see it! I promise I won't touch your vagina.

Tallahassee, Florida

Serious biker: Virgins are great! You can use them as currency.

Blowfish Sushi
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: tangotravellers

Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that's not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!

Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sarah

Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.

Montevallo, Alabama

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Redlands, California

Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It’s Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!

Traverse City, Michigan

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.

St. Louis, Missouri