Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Mom to little boy: Son, come get in this car right now and I’ll give you your glue…
Annapolis Mall
Maryland
Overheard by: Lila K
Teacher during earthquake drill: Guys, if we die right now, I love you!
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Kelsey
Twink #1: I don’t want to just date him for the weekend — I want something for the rest of my life.
Twink #2: You could die Sunday. That would be the rest of your life.
The Hippo
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Girl #1: That library isn’t much help at all.
Girl #2: Yeah, I buy my own books. Libraries are only good for poor people that want to read.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Courtney
20-ish girl: I know it’s stupid since he keeps dicking me around, but I really just want to have sex with him. Maybe if I have sex with him I could hook him!
Friend: You could hook him? Like drugs?
20-ish girl: Yeah! Like, maybe my vagina would be like crack to him…
Bar
Bel Air, Maryland
Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we’re going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn’t that, like, over the phone?
Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture
Biology professor: No, penises don’t just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Chicken
Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It’s time for a drum circle.
House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland
