Tween to friends: Imagine if Hitler gave everybody hugs!
Baltimore, MD
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Girl on cell: Wait, what do you mean by downtown? Like, down… in a town?
Goucher College
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Hannah
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
White kid #1: Yo, you think he gay?
Black kid: No, I think you gay.
White kid #2: Yo, how did you know?
White kid #1: I blew him, you idiot.
White kid #2: Did he really?
Black kid: I guess you could call it head.
White kid #2: Where was I when that shit went down?
Black kid: I don’t know, but you woulda done a better job.
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Chick: … So she said, ‘Hey, look over here,’ and then she opened her gown and, like, all I saw were these weird big boobs…
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Two-year-old: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…
Mother, trying to talk to her friend: What?!
Two-year-old, thrusting pizza at her: Blow me!
Mom’s friend: Well, that’s one for the baby book.
Pizza Hut
Maryland
Newbie guy on airplane: What's this?
Female friend: For your entertainment.
Newbie guy: Ooooh! Barf bag!
Washington International Airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Chubby guy on cell: You know it’s bad when Bon Jovi shows up.
Target
Westminster, Maryland
Overheard by: JoviFan4Life
Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: voltaire
