Woman to crying toddler: Now, stop it, or that policeman over there will come and take you away!
Man: That’s right.
Woman: That’s what policemen do. They take little boys away.
Man: That’s right.
Outside the John Hancock Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: passerby-ing
Four-year-old boy to girl his age: Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom! I take it out of my pants and then you die!
Christchurch Airport
Christchurch, New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Little girl: If you take my Timon and Pumbaa straw, I will kill you.
Mother: Is that a threat?
Denver, Colorado
Mother to son: One day you will eat blood, and your stomach will say, ‘Oh, no, no, no!’ and it will come right back up.
Steak & Shake
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Mallory
Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.
Gloucester Road
London
England
Overheard by: Never want to have children
Oxford boy #1: I’m going to stab you in the heart.
Oxford boy #2: Last night you stayed at my house and now you want to stab me in the heart?!
London-bound train
United Kingdom
Overheard by: snickering american sisters
Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!
Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…
Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted
