Chick to friend: Man, you’ve gotta get laid. I need to live vicariously through someone’s vagina.
Village Inn
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Tabs
Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category
We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.
[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Cue the Commodores
Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.
Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Why Is That Always Your Question?
College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren’t going to stuff your crotch, are you?
Melbourne University
Australia
If You Know What I Mean
Girl to friend: I gave my ostrich a fur coat.
Rich Catholic Girls School
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
That Thing Almost Took Off My Hand Last Time
Student #1: Jess, come here. I need your help.
Student #2: I am not touching your cooter again.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Next: a Game Of “Just the Tip”
Not-very-smooth guy to attractive woman at bar: I just want to see it! I promise I won’t touch your vagina.
Tallahassee, Florida
Just Lucky, I Guess
Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
So Gay Men Aren’t the Target Demograpic for That?
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn’t this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I’m getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don’t really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It’s gross. We’re just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I’ve heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
