Marine: Don’t waste good Fun Dip! That’s like slapping Jesus in the face!
Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan
Overheard by: Justus
Marine: Don’t waste good Fun Dip! That’s like slapping Jesus in the face!
Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan
Overheard by: Justus
Marine with no game to clearly uninterested sales clerk: And we marines say “semper fi” to each other, do you know what that means?
Sales girl: Yeah, it…
Marine, interrupting: It means “always faithful.” It’s like Russian or some shit… No. Maybe Italian… Yeah, it’s Italian.
Mall
Birmingham, Alabama
Marine #1: So, how was it?
Marine #2: Crazy. She wanted me to take a shit in her pussy. That’s fucking weird, man.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Soundbite Lover
Soldier: So I guess I’m leaving around April‐ish.
Girl: Why can’t they send you to Paris? Or Greece?
Soldier: Um… Cause we aren’t at war there?
Girl: Well, we should be!
Ft. Campbell, Kentucky
Private: I’ve been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don’t see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
Chubby guy, pointing to cookies: Can I have one from this side where they’re, like, actually cooked?
Chow Line
USS Nimitz Carrier
Overheard by: LikesThemBurnt
Marine #1, on plane: Since you got the window seat, I might lean my head on your shoulder for part of this flight. Not in a gay way, more in a I’m‐tired‐and‐want‐to‐lean‐my‐head‐on‐something kind of way.
Marine #2: Alright, but I might have to smack you. Not in an I‑hate‐you kind of way, more in a get‐your‐head‐off‐my‐damn‐shoulder kind of way.
Airplane
Atlanta, Georgia
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.
Twentynine Palms, California
