Italian professor: Once, I put an octopus into a boy’s underwear.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/43277.html
Italian professor: Once, I put an octopus into a boy’s underwear.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/43277.html
Guy #1: Hey, do you think that if animals could talk and were as smart as us, we would get along?
Guy #2: I think so… Actually, maybe not lions. They’re pretty crazy.
Guy #1: Yeah, we’d probably have to lock up all the lions and bears.
Guy #2: Damn, bears. Almost forgot.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/after-all-they-are-number-one-threat-to.html
Overheard by: ryan
Son: Dad, how do people have sex with dogs?
Father, philosophical: Same reason people have sex with sheep… Or horses.
Son: Well, how do dogs get pregnant, then?
Father, quickly: Humans can’t get dogs pregnant.
Son: But how do the dogs get pregnant from having sex in the ass?
Father, worried: Nobody can get pregnant from anal sex!
Son: Yeah! Doggy-style!
Father, nervous: Bitches get done in the vagina, which you can do from the back. Believe me, it’s back there if you look for it. Dogs never do anal sex — only people do that.
Son: Hmmm…
Bay area, California
Overheard by: I don’t wanna look that hard
Chick #1, squinting at laptop: Is that a squirrel?
Chick #2: No. That’s a penis.
Starbucks
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Awkward!
Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don’t even bother. It’s so ugly. It looks so out of place… It’s probably thinking, ‘What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.’
Boyfriend: That’s what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don’t worry, babe, I’m sure he’ll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/05/huge-update.html/
Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee
Serious man: You don’t want to fuck with a kangaroo.
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: adrienne?!?
College guy: Ugh. Now I know what a beached whale feels like when it gets a phone call.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bahama Mama
Guy: Oh I've slept in a field before. One time I slept with a sheep. I was interrupted in the middle of the night by a fox, though. The fox was like “grr!” and I was like “woah!”, but then I remembered that I had garlic bread in my bag.
An Cheathru Rua
Galway
Ireland
Overheard by: what happens in an cheathru rua…
Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…
Jersey City, New Jersey
