North America

Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

Girl on cell: What do you want? I’m in a fucking dressing room… Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier… What? It’s not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Anaheim, California

Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn't work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!

Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

Overheard by: Mike

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.

Overheard by: autumn

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

Guy at party: You know, if I tell you it's 'cause I tell you, if not…why would I tell you?


Overheard by: Oscar