Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.
High School
Los Angeles, California
Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Professor: What would you guys do if I told you that a giant fish was going to eat you on your way home?
Girl: Hide?
Professor: No! You'd all go out and have sex! I mean besides sleeping, eating, and having sex, what else do you need to do? You're just taking this class so later in life you can sleep in a better place, eat better food, and have sex with someone hotter!
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michgan
Overheard by: Kelli
Dude: If you don't come along, I'll have your first-born child sodomized. By a moose.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Photography professor: Yeah, I did this whole series about raves when I was in Tucson… I even dyed my hair yellow and shaved a daisy into it because, you know, I was “submersing myself in the culture.” But that was a long time ago. Now I'm a teacher. Go figure, huh?
Photography Class
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Katie
Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it’s not a mall!
James River
Richmond, Virginia
College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.
Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia
Pissed-off teen: You can't get a bowl of salad but you can wash the dog naked?
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
Film studies professor, after screening Eadweard Muybridge, in which animals and naked humans walk together: So what did you all think?
Student #1: I liked the tiger!
Student #2: I thought the way the elephant was filmed was fantastic.
Film studies professor: Yeah…I just like all the naked ladies.
Concordia University
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: In a class of 100 and disgusted
