Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

Girl on cell: What do you want? I’m in a fucking dressing room… Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier… What? It’s not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Anaheim, California

Frat boy #1: Wait… so they didn't rape her?
Frat boy #2: No dude, turns out she had a penis. Now every time I see the girl I throw up a little in my mouth.

Laramie, Wyoming

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

Overheard by: Mike

Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.

Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans

Overheard by: Passenger A 44

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.

Overheard by: autumn

Bleached blonde sorority chick: If she doesn't abort it, we're totally throwing her a baby shower!


Overheard by: GDI