Old lady to friend: … And the husband’s given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself!
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: future old lady
Old lady to friend: … And the husband’s given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself!
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: future old lady
Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.
Bangor
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: limeinside
American tourist: It all started when I said, ‘Hey, Dave, are you up for a sword fight?’
Temple Bar
Dublin
Ireland
Irishman to friend, huddling under bar's awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink…
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: l_tau
Man holding nose picking child: Fiver to hug the child! Just a fiver, a fiver to cuddle the child!
Belfast
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: I'll give you £2!
Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
Little boy, as plane starts its descent: Oh my god! What are going to do? We are going to get stuck in the clouds! Please! Somebody help us! Help!
Dublin
Ireland
Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Mother to child: You seem to be on a mission today to decapitate my toes.
Crowded LUAS tram
Dublin
Ireland