Animals

Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.

Iithaca, New York

Girl: Why would you ever kick a squirrel?
Guy: I wanted to see if I could do it.

http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com/2006/10/they-have-feelings-too-you-know-girl.html

Overheard by: alyssa

Chick #1, fawning over little pup: Oh my god, he is sooo adorable. Hellooo! Hellooo there, little guy! Awww, so cute. [She and her friend walk away.]Chick #2: Oh, he was so cute! I wish I could have one.
Chick #1: I wish I could have stepped on the little thing and squished its little head.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/29/are-we-talking-about-girl-1-or-the-dog/

Stoner teen girl watching seals: If I ever turn into an animal, I hope I’m not a seal.
Friend: Why?
Stoner teen girl: ‘Cause just look at the poor things — it’s so hard for them to, like, move. They just wobble everywhere. No legs to help them. I feel so bad for them.

Camden Aquarium
Camden, New Jersey

Overheard by: maryjane

Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: cgt

Recent college grad: Wait, you mean elephants are mammals?!

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not a mammal either

Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn!

Michigan

Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.

Portland, Oregon

Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California